So not free to blog at all! So I was talking about my birthday the previous post. I had a blast! And it was my first time that I was actually touched to tears. It was almost like a drama.

29th Oct night, we were having bbq and cooking in the chalet. I was touched by the people who came. Thank you all for making time for me. My dear Ah Huat made a video for me, with my colleagues all wishing me Happy Birthday! Gosh, it was great, right? And we watched it exactly at 12am! So the video goes like this. A song was played (and i forgotten the song title), and Ah Huat was introducing the video.  Then pictures of me came out. Basically the photos were taken from my Facebook! Haha! It showed most of the photos after my hairdo! And they were like, "I had so many kinds of hair style!" Indeed I have! From the blonds to the reds, from long to short, from straight to curly. After the photos, it was the short video of me! The video of me being drunk in the previous chalet, and one in the club! Gosh so embarrassing to the maximum, my lord! And lastly, the well wishing! Exactly one minute or two after the video, someone called from Malaysia. I answered and Richard sang the birthday song. That was when my tears started to flow.

To be honest, it's easy to make friends. But it's not easy to find friends like that will actually last a lifetime. I believe I have found mine! Thank God for that! Life is never easy. But it's easier with friends like this! May this friendships last long. I don't know if you guys would read this, but with the bottom of my heart, I thank you guys for making it a fantastic birthday! <3

Those who came! I LOVE YOU! - Reena, Ah Huat, Meow, Benjamin, Baggio, Waikiat, Shakila, Brandon, Janice, Yengkee, Guoqiang, Ah Boon, Yully, Jasmine, Anna, Zhongen, Kaya, Maomao, Izwan, Pauline, Oiling, Huifen, Raymond, Bryan.

Hugs and kisses from me! <3 Just in case you thought I'm serious, I'm totally kidding...

What if I lost you? I have gone through the days where I lost the others. I know sometimes this is part of life but I hope God doesn't take you away from me. Not so soon. I love you! And you are the only one I ever loved with my whole heart! I never say "I Love You" before, but one day I will! Soon enough, I promise! I will definitely do you proud one day! My time hasn't come! But it will!

P/s: I love you!

Do you know why am I acting so strong in front of everyone? Do you know why am I so childish in front of everyone? Do you really know why?

For the past 18 years, I don't least felt loved at all. I have been hurt emotional that acting on a brave front is my only choice. Where were you when I was hurt? Where were you when I needed support? Where were you when I was humiliated? My family was nowhere to be found. Even if I don't felt loved before, I never let that bothers me. Because I know they love me in some ways that I hated.

It's so hard to cry it out with my friends around. It sucks to bring them down too. I just got to keep moving on as the person with a brave front. I don't wish to be vulnerable because in life, people will cast you down to reach for their goal.

Thank you for your love. I feel you, somewhere, somehow...

BACK !

Well, I'm back to blog. :D Didn't thought of coming back here because I'm pretty much stuck on Facebook. Many happenings going through my life right now, I'm still going strong!

Let's say, that I'm kind of disappointed over a friend of mine. To think I still consider him as my friend. My friend told me that he is more naive than anyone could be. He thinks that he always right when the fact smacks his face saying that he is wrong. What more can I say? I think he is way too spoiled than anyone could thought of. I hope one day he realizes that, because one by one, we are ignoring him. Not because we do it for the sake of doing it. But we are getting way too agitated by his actions.

Anyway, my birthday is coming! Excited much! And I'm going NS soon! Even excited! I will definitely become more slimmer when I get out! Lol! The thing about NS, it does not break you as a person because you get to learn how to handle life when poverty strikes. I must say we today in society are not very appreciative of life. In a way that we are taking things for granted. Not all but most. Sad but true, I know. I have been through days that many didn't went through. But not as bad as those my great parents went through. I'm hoping to learn through my NS time. Sounds so positive and optimistic right!

As for my birthday, I just want to spend some quality time with my good friends. Hoping to do some catching up moment! I will definitely update more when the time comes. Come back soon, alright? :D Have a good day ahead! Remember this, "What does not break you, makes you". I promise to be more positive!

What does people want when they did all they could just to sabotage your friendships with other people? It really hurts me to say but, it's the fact. Undeniable fact. It seems like, I always had the same rough route. With N, with L, with S. Oh my god. I used to treat them like inseparable people of my life and now they literally walk away.

And I am always the one bringing everyone together that so often, I am forgotten. Well, it felt bad. Really bad. Tsk. I better get used to it. I know I can't be in good terms with them, so I think i shall lead my life just myself. Me, Myself and I! It's okay and I admit defeat.

You know something funny? I'm turning 18 in another 6 hours. Few months ago, initial plan has it that I will be going club with my "friends". :D Now, it seems that they are all busy. Tsk.

Previous years, I had it with my friends and all. This year, I shall have it with my books. Haha. Over the years, I had many friends who came into my life and left without much notices. They might or might not make any impact on me. But I hope they are not going to use me for future. Push me in the fire, and you shall get burn.

Since they can't make time for me, or doesn't want to make time for me, I guess this is the end? I don't mind them saying this or that, but I certainly mind when they say they doesn't remember. I ain't crazy, I know it very well.

And and, I am going to work now! Great, isn't it? Tsk tsk!

Well well. I'm back to blog. It has been a long time, hasn't it? Many things on my mind. I shall then elaborate. :D

I remembered years ago, I was always the usual kid who was so excited to come work. Giving myself a break and worked with my friends. But recently, work has not been very exciting for me. It goes the same for the others. I realised and I kept mum about it. Because the situation is not for us to decide. And why does people fight so hard for power? Power as in authority and superiority? In Singapore, democracy is part of what we practices, right? I have seen many people with little credit acting so arrogant in front of the bosses. Their motive? To get promoted, of course. That goes without saying. People like me are always the cast of those who stays in the background. They want to get the credit and main cast of the show. Or leader, to make it clearer.

By the way, there is this guy who hates me. I too dislike him, for his superbly fast changes of mood swing. He is already a grown adult and he always pick on those younger or older people to prey on. He is trying to climb that ladder. Tsk! You will never make it when you doesn't even respect yourself, let alone others who are working with you. A piece of advice for you. Before you want to fight with others, make sure you have enough in your pocket. Because you will never know when people have more than what you have. Get it? I may be young, but I ain't that easy to prey on. You will know what I am capable of. :D

I never felt so happy and sad at the same time before. All those mixed feelings are spinning around my head. I was so happy to have Oiling to be with me throughout the day and it had cleared the Monday blues for me. We were eating, having fun talking and gossiping about everything. It was the best quality time I could ever ask for. After the JB trip, we went back and met our clique. Had a good two hours talk. <3 While in the cab then, I heard the old song where my buddy would always sing whenever we are having a karaoke session. Well, things are not the same anymore.